Menos Macho..

So, living in Mexico has its bonuses and its downsides. One of the things that drives me crazy about living in this culture is how men treat women. In the states there's always this abstract concept--perhaps more abstract for some than for others--that there are indeed men who objectify women, but for the most part I myself have never REALLY had to deal with this. Even if there were men walking down the street who passed me and made comments, they did so in a way that never made me aware that they were doing so. Perhaps part of that equation is my own naivte or obliviousness. Regardless, that aspect of male-female interactions was never really an issue for me before.

That is not the case here. In Mexico, it is just normal for a girl to walk down the street and be cat-called or whisteled at or some such response by men on the street. Some girls like it, others don't, but it's just part of life here, so those who don't like it just go on their merry way ignoring these guys.

On top of that, male-female interactions in Mexico are very different in other ways. For example many would consider it flirtatious for a girl to look a guy directly in the eye...at least here where I am. Perhaps it's not so in the city, but in the country, that can illicit flirtatious behavior from a guy.

Anyway, the point of this discourse is that for the most part, I ignore the male popluation here in Cofradia unless they are part of the youth group (and then I don't interact much outside of youth group) or married to a woman whom I have befriended. Yet, ignoring the male population does not seem to help free me from being cat-called on every other corner and whistled at by the guys across the street or the truck driving by, etc. I honestly despise that part of this culture, but I have learned to just ignore it and keep walking. Yet, I have also learned not to expect respectful interaction from men.

Sunday, however, after returning to Cofradia from the church service in Arrayanes, I headed over to Jay and Faith's to borrow a movie. I drove over with them in their truck, but then I had to walk all the way back to the base which is on the other side of town (12 blocks away). It was a lovely evening, so I just meandered my way down the street enjoying the sunset and the cool evening air. The street was pretty empty for the most part, but at one point a man passed me on his bicycle. I kept my eyes down and on the road and didn't really acknowledge him, but as he passed he greeted me cordially: "buenas tardes." I was shocked out of my mind, but I somehow managed to remember to greet him back as I kept walking. Not very many steps later, a younger man, probably around my age, passed me in the street on horseback (yes, that's a common mode of transportation here!). I had even LESS intention of looking at or acknowledging a man in my own age range, so I kept my eyes down and kept walking. Yet, he too greeted me quite cordially: "buenas tardes." I looked at him and greeted back and kept walking, but I found myself stunned. In a matter of a few minutes, TWO men had greeted me so nicely, so politely...so NORMALLY...as though I were a person and not just their eye candy. I believe this was the first time this had happened like this with complete strangers! And it was very pleasant!

I related this story to a couple of my Mexican women friends, Antonia and Sandy. Sandy told me that a similar thing had happened to her and her aunt Erica a couple of days before. That they had been walking somewhere and a teen boy cat-called then and greeted them as they expected. They ignored him and kept walking only to be passed immediately by an older man who greeted them politely with "buenas tardes." They greeted this man back, and the youth guy noticed that they ignored him but greeted the man who treated them with respect, and it caused him to shut his mouth.

Antonia made an interesting comment to me. She said, "Ya know Amber, it's true. Even though we don't believe it, there are still a few men who treat women with respect. I just wish that there were more like that." My friend Ruth, who teaches English in South Korea, recently blogged about a similar experience. Check out what happened to her and how she chose to respond!

Please pray for the men of this culture. Their culture is so rich and vibrant, but it could be even richer if they only knew what they were missing out on by not treasuring their women!