SPEAK!!!

There is so much to tell and very few words to really tell it! But I'll leave you with this little story until I can get the update conceptualized and translated into real language..hehe.

So, yesterday I was left at the base all by my lonesome. The first Houston team had left on Friday morning to go to Guadalajara to go home--they flew out yesterday--and we were awaiting the arrival of the second Houston team (from the same church) yesterday evening. But in the morning Dave, Kathy, and Jonathan (their son) went to Tepic for the wedding of Tom and Linea's oldest son Andy. He married a Mexican girl that he met working there in Tepic. Anyway, and Dave's parents had gone to Arrayanes to do some work on the church building there, and they weren't planning to return to the base until around lunchtime-ish. Faith and her kids were at their house about 10 blocks away, and Jay and Steve were with the teams in Guad. So, that left me at the base by myself until Dave's parents, Marianne and Jack, returned from Arrayanes (which is about 5 km away).

So, I took advantage of the time to work on my Bible study lesson for the day and to read and do various other things, which included some laundry left over by the Houston team, as well as some laundry from the team that was here before them that had not been washed yet. This was all clothing, etc. that the teams left to be used or given away or sold or whatever according to the base's discretion and needs. There were a couple of local kids playing on the base with the skateboards that my short-term team had left when we were here at Christmas. One of those kids was Pedro (see pic at right--Pedro's the one in the foreground). Pedros is actually in Secondaria, which is their equivalent of Junior High--7-9th grades, although they call it 1st, 2nd, and 3rd Secondaria. Because he is in Secondaria, he is able to be part of the youth ministry here, which is headed up by Steve, whose blog is linked in my links section. Anyway, Pedro is a great kid, and at one point yesterday I left my room to go and change the loads of laundry and fold what had dried. He came over and started to talk to me, as he had discovered earlier in the morning that I spoke Spanish. He asked me who had taught me Spanish and was quite surprised that I learned it in school, because they teach English here in the schools but they do not teach it well at all and they don't make the kids practice or really tell them what English words and phrases really mean in Spanish. So they know words but don't really know what they mean or how to use them. So, the idea that I learned to actually speak Spanish in school was very surprising to him.

He asked how long I was going to be here, because he thought I might leave with one of the teams, but he got really excited when he found out I'd be here for three months becasue that meant I'd be around for El Dia de los Judios--the Day of the Jews or something like that. It's part of their festivities for La Semana Santa (Holy Week) in April, and he went on to tell me all about it. His face just lit right up when he realized I'd be here for that! Anyway, toward the end of this conversation he told me that I speak Spanish well, that other Americans come and don't speak Spanish well at all, but I do. I thanked him and told him that I need to practice my Spanish more because I want to be able to speak better. And he replied to me that I already speak better!!!!!!!

You have no idea the effect that statement had on my heart! I tell you, this past week was such a great time for me. I accompanied the Houston youth on all of their outreach activities with the Mexican youth, but I couldn't really participate in conversation because I still feel so limited in my speaking abilities. That was a good thing because it meant that I spent time observing the kids and learning about them from watching them and listening to them and their conversations and small group discussions and prayers, which I often forget to do because I'm such a talker. But it was also frustrating because after watching them for a week I just wanted so badly to know them and love on them and talk to them, etc, and I just couldn't come up with the words to do so! So, that has really been my prayer this past week--that the Lord would increase my language abilities so that I can really dig in and get to know the people here in Cofradia and the surrounding towns. So, when Pedro said that I already speak better, it was almost as though the Lord Himself was telling me to just forget my fears and speak already! What an encouragement that was to me! It was certainly an answer to prayer, though not the one I think I was hoping for. Part of me really wanted to believe that one day I would just open my mouth and fluent Spanish would just start pouring out--sort of like the disciples at Pentecost. Now, I know that God can do that absolutely, but while I wanted that to be true for me this time around, I wasn't quite sure that was what the Lord had in mind. But I have had a sense that I needed to stop being a perfectionist and mistake-a-phobe and just open my mouth and start talking to people, which really is the best way to remember what I once knew and correct what I've gotten jumbled up in my head over the years. So, when Pedro said that to me, it was really like the Lord was telling me exactly that --> "Stop thinking that you have to be fluent in Spanish before you can be used! Just open your mouth, woman, and start speaking and trust me to give you the words that you need! I gave you the ability to learn Spanish and I made you to do as well as you did all for a purpose, and here it is, so SPEAK!"

The very neat thing is that tonight, I had the opportunity to have some conversation with another local youth named Chupa (his real name is Jose Angel--'j' and 'g' pronounced like an 'h'--but everyone calls him Chupa). Chupa is 18, and he has a very special place in the heart of the base here and all the missionaries, especially Jay and Faith. And every team that comes here ends up getting to know Chupa and helping him out in some way. Lots of them contribute to paying the cost for his high-schooling. (High school in Mexico is not required, and therefore to go to high school is like going to private school in the states, and it's not cheap.) So, Chupa goes, but the cost is covered by donations to a large extent. The team I came with over Christmas poured a concrete floor for his house and bought windows and doors for the house, which were installed just a few weeks before I arrived this time around. Chupa lives with his father, but his father is an alcoholic and not a very nice guy. His mother just left him with his father one day several years ago and disappeared with his brothers and sister, so that Chupa is here alone with his dad who doesn't really do much to take care of him at all. Which is why the base and Jay and Faith and teams that come have stepped in to fill in the gaps.

Anyway, tonight, Chupa and I ended up sitting around talking and some conversation we had with Faith earlier caused him to make a comment and ask why his life ended up the way it did. So, I had the opportunity, IN SPANISH, to share with him that we can't know that but we do know that God is so much bigger than all that and that God has such grand purposes for our lives and He uses all the bad things to make the great things happen. I got to share with him about my own background, and I was able to tell him that I thank God for all those things because they caused me to know God better, and without them maybe that wouldn't have been true. At one point he asked me if I remember all those painful memories. I answered yes, but I told him that now I remember the great things that God has done as a result more than the things that have happened to me or hurt me. He responed, "Aahh...entiendo. Entiendo" ("Aahh..I understand. I understand"). Perhaps that conversation would have happened anyway, but maybe I needed that kick in the pants and that encouragement that came simultaneously through Pedro yesterday in order to be willing to speak so badly and yet still communicate some comfort and truth to Chupa. He knows the Lord already, but that doesn't always make it easy to suffer through the nasty things in life. And I'm so thankful for the opportunity to come along side him and tell him that there is so much more than the suffering and pain because we get to know the Lord!

My Spanish certainly wasn't anywhere close to being "good" in that conversation, and what I understood was very little compared to all that Chupa had to say, but Chupa understood, and that is entirely because of the Lord working in his heart and life. But I was willing to open my mouth, despite how inadequate I've felt my language skills to be. Who knew that Pedro's simple statement could be so pregnant with meaning! I wonder if I'll ever be able to tell him what that meant to me and how God used his mouth that day without him ever knowing that's what was happening! Oh, I hope I get that opportunity one day!

Please pray for Pedro and Chupa, that the Lord would continue to mold and grow their hearts and lives into holy and blameless and Christ-like living letters for his kingdom and glory!!