It's Tough...

...watching your friends struggle and suffer and not being able to do anything for them to fix it and make it all better. I get that from my dad, I think...being a "fix-er". It's something the Lord has been working on me about for many years now: learning how to stop trying to do His job in the lives of others. But I'm not sure it ever gets easier. Sure, each time the Lord tries me in it, (hopefully) I come out the other side better able to step back and let Him be the sovereign, omniscient, perfectly Good God that He is in the lives of those I love. But nowhere in the equation have I yet to find that learning how to do that better makes it any easier to watch my loved one suffer and struggle. I KNOW they have to do it for themselves, but that doesn't mean that I have to like that it is that way......or maybe that's part of the lesson too. I'm not sure, but suffice it to say that it has been a roller coaster couple of weeks being back here in Cofradia.

My closest friend is hurting and struggling just to come up for air in so many ways. One moment the horizon is bright and she sees the light at the end of the tunnel, and then a split second later it's GONE and she's nothing but a ball of pain and confusion. She doesn't do much crying about it yet. I'm sure she will at some point. But I've done my fair share already just watching the whole process.

It's that age-old battle between what we KNOW and what we FEEL. They don't always match, and in those instances, I know that I need to choose what I KNOW, but what I FEEL often seems so much more powerful and convincing. Of course, that's the exact same battle she faces moment by moment herself. If I'M struggling in that battle (and it's not even my struggle), then how am I supposed to help her? I know that it's only the Lord that makes that work somehow, but wow is it hard!

Just keep praying folks. Just keep praying.

"If my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then will I hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and will heal their land. Now my eyes will be open and my ears attentive to the prayers offered in this place. ... My eyes and my heart will always be there." ~2 Chronicles 7:14-15, 16b